Monday, April 20, 2009

A Door, a window, or neither?


Have any of you come to the point where you are not sure whether something happened because it is God's will (I mean, of course nothing happens without God allowing it, but rather, "did this happen because it is a sign that 'the door is closed'"?) or wondered if it was simply an opportunity to exercise your faith and determination in order to proceed, even though there were some obstacles to overcome in order to do so?

My reason is asking this is that I found out today that I didn't quite pass the functional capacity test I had to do for my job. Everything about this job opportunity appeared like the best thing--it seemed like God was working everything out perfectly! What more could I ask for--the pay is better than I was getting at my other job, it is right across the street from where I'll be living this summer, I can even go full-time during the summer months! It all was seeming to fit together like puzzle pieces! But then...I didn't pass this test. Why?

When I first found out, one of my first thoughts was: "Well, I guess God has something better for me." But is that really so? Is He truly closing this door because He has something else in store for me that will be, in the long run, much better for me, even though it seemed like the ideal job opportunity, or is this simply an obstacle to be hurdled? Am I to passively accept this as "God's will" and do nothing more about it--to give up--or does He want something more of me? How am I to determine the fine line of accepting God's will for my life, doing my best to accomplish what God wants for my life, yet at the same time, not push my way into something that God doesn't want me to be in? How do I determine when God has closed the door and there is not a window for me to go through instead?

The lady that interviewed me said that there have been times when someone doesn't pass this test, but then they re-take it and they pass. Is this whole thing because God wants to test my faith? Is He trying to tell me that He has other plans--plans of good, and not of evil? Is He telling me to trust Him--that He is in control, that none of this was a surprise to Him? Or is He trying to show me that I need to try again and press onward, even though there may be difficulties because I feel this is where He wants me?

Interestingly, I read this verse this morning in my devotions: "Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24), and it seemed to be talking about me. I really don't understand why God allowed this obstacle to come up; I cannot be certain of the course of that I am now to take. However, I take comfort in one thing: It is all of Him, and He is the One leading me down each path of my life, no matter how dark or unknown it may seem!

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