"when I grow up..."

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago that I distinctly remember being envious of a friend who was seven, when I was six, or thinking how I would be so grown up when I turned sixteen. Both of those ages have come and gone, and now I am twenty-one.

All of a sudden, from one day to the next, the world now considers me to be an adult: With a few exceptions, I now have pretty much all the privileges of any other adult. All of a sudden, friends my own age are getting married, others are considering and making decisions that will have an affect on the rest of their life, and still others are being faced with real-life issues that cannot be handled with just a kiss and a hug from mommy.

The “when I grow up” of my childhood years seems to be looming closer and closer. The perks are exciting and thrilling, yet at the same time, somewhat scary and unsettling. Suddenly, all of those things that I dreamed of doing “when I grow up” that seemed like they were so far away, now almost seem to be within my grasp--they are no longer simply a distant speck in the horizon. Life seems to be becoming more real.

Why can't I just fly to Never, Never Land and forever be a kid? I feel so young, so unprepared, so incapable of living life as an adult and facing the responsibilities that come with it. Turning 21 has made me think about my life now and my future: it's scary, but I'm

excited. I'm not facing life by myself, for I am never alone. God is by my side

each step of the way. Already, there have been times when I feel so weak and inadequate to

fulfill the responsibilities that I have been given. However, I know that it is in my weakness

that His "strength is made perfect."

"When I grow up" is becoming more of a reality than simply a favorite childish pass-time of

day-dreaming about the future. Is it scary to think of growing up and being held responsible as

an adult now? Yes, to some extent, it is, but I'm excited about discovering more about the

great God that I serve and seeing how He will guide throughout the next few months and

years of my life.

(please forgive the terrible formatting of the last few paragraphs...I'm not sure what happened to make

it act up like this!)