Just admit it: Life is about expectations. We all have them, whether they are good or bad. We have expectations of ourselves and expectations of others. There are certain expectations of events and businesses. Our employers have expectations of us, their employees. The list could go on.
Some expectations we don’t even realize we have. That is, until they aren’t met. When this happens, something else happens. And sometimes, that something else is not always a good thing. (In other words, we sin because of it.)
I was rudely reminded of this recently when I discovered that plans I had for some Christmas projects were not working out like I was expecting them to. Add to that the general expectation of what “Celebrating Christmas” is supposed to look, feel, sound, and even taste like, and Christmas this year just hasn’t been quite like I expected it to be. Mix multiple botched projects with “it doesn’t feel like Christmas” and I realized that I was all-around bummed about all of it. So when a simple project went wrong, it became a much bigger deal than it should have. When my husband asked my why I was down, I immediately knew the answer: My expectations were not being met. Period.
To further complicate matters, I have expectations of myself. Yes, I feel like in order to be the wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, and in short, the individual that I’m supposed to be, I need to do this, this, this, and this. Otherwise, I just don’t measure up.
Where does this mentality come from?
It comes from no other place than my own heart and perceived interpretation of others’ expectations of me.
Why do we have them? And why do they become such a big part of who we are—both on the small and also on the large scale of things?
I don’t have it all figured out or even have much of an answer to these questions, but I do know that it is the tangled web of a vicious cycle: we have expectations of others, which makes us then think that they have those same expectations of us, which makes us turn around and demand that others live up to those expectations that they {obviously} have us. More often than not, the whole struggle starts and stays in the mind—it may never even manifest itself in visible ways--but it is still there. Life becomes a mentality of constantly comparing and measuring up. We’re so trapped in this rut that we don’t know how to get un-trapped.
The only cure I know is to preach to myself time and again the Gospel of Christ. While this does include “I am a sinner and need a Savior,” more specifically it reminds me as a Christian that “Christ died for my sins and He has given provision to live righteously as I obey His Word! This means that when expectations are not met, there is power to produce a righteous response. In turn, I can and should live graciously towards others, despite unmet expectations.”
