Expectations

(Again, am finally getting around to posting what has been a draft in my draft files for quite some time!)

 Just admit it: Life is about expectations.  We all have them, whether they are good or bad. We have expectations of ourselves and expectations of others.  There are certain expectations of events and businesses. Our employers have expectations of us, their employees.  The list could go on.
Some expectations we don’t even realize we have.  That is, until they aren’t met. When this happens, something else happens.  And sometimes, that something else is not always a good thing. (In other words, we sin because of it.)

I was rudely reminded of this recently when I discovered that plans I had for some Christmas projects were not working out like I was expecting them to.  Add to that the general expectation of what “Celebrating Christmas” is supposed to look, feel, sound, and even taste like, and  Christmas this year just hasn’t been quite like I expected it to be.  Mix multiple botched projects with “it doesn’t feel like Christmas” and I realized that I was all-around bummed about all of it. So when a simple project went wrong, it became a much bigger deal than it should have. When my husband asked my why I was down, I immediately knew the answer: My expectations were not being met.  Period. 

To further complicate matters, I have expectations of myself.  Yes, I feel like in order to be the wife, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, and in short, the individual that I’m supposed to be, I need to do this, this, this, and this.  Otherwise, I just don’t measure up.

Where does this mentality come from? 

It comes from no other place than my own heart and perceived interpretation of others’ expectations of me. 

Why do we have them?  And why do they become such a big part of who we are—both on the small and also on the large scale of things? 

I don’t have it all figured out or even have much of an answer to these questions, but I do know that  it is the tangled web of a vicious cycle: we have expectations of others, which makes us then think that they have those same expectations of us, which makes us turn around and demand that others live up to those expectations that they {obviously} have us. More often than not, the whole struggle starts and stays in the mind—it may never even manifest itself in visible ways--but it is still there.  Life becomes a mentality of constantly comparing and measuring up. We’re so trapped in this rut that we don’t know how to get un-trapped. 

  The only cure I know is to preach to myself time and again the Gospel of Christ.  While this does include “I am a sinner and need a Savior,” more specifically it reminds me as a Christian that “Christ died for my sins and He has given provision to live righteously as I obey His Word! This means that when expectations are not met, there is power to produce a righteous response.  In turn, I  can and should live graciously towards others, despite unmet expectations.” 

It is only through the power of the Gospel of Christ that there is victory over anything, even battles of the mind.  

At times I don't know how to adequately express myself.  Sincere longing, yearning, and seeking hard after the Lord often get stifled by my circumstances. This song, based on Psalm 84, has been a recent reminder of what I desire to be a reality in my life right now. 

How sweet the place where You dwell, O Lord, 

My soul longs and faints for You

My heart sings out a loud song of joy 

For I have known the living God.

I want to be where You are, O Lord

I want to be where You are, O Lord

I'd rather have just one day with You

Than be anywhere else

There's no good thing that You will withhold

From those who live to follow You 

I'd rather be Your servant, O God

Than have the riches of this world

Those who follow You go from strength to strength

Those who trust in You are filled with joy.

(c) Stephen Altrogge, 2008, Sovereign Grace Praise

Pinterest and Scarves

I have recently become {somewhat} hooked on Pinterest.  It is fun to have at one's fingertips so many ideas on how to become an efficient cook and homemaker, ultimate Do-It-Yourself-er, and maybe even a successful seamstress.  The resources are plentiful...and seem practically bottomless.   I don't know if anyone else has this feeling, but I have the problem of never really getting around to actually trying out the ideas and seeing if they work!

Well, about three years ago, I fell in love with {scarves} (Well, I have also fallen in love with Isaac Stanley, but that wasn't quite three years ago and the story would require its own post!)  Anyway, when my aunt gave me my first scarf from Afghanistan--a long, narrow, black crocheted-type scarf with specks of green and pink, as well as little sequins-- I smiled and politely said "thank you," while inside, I thought, "What in the world am I going to do with this?!?"   Ahh, that scarf has since become one of my favorites!  

Once I finally decided to go out on a limb and risk looking totally ridiculous in a scarf, I loved it!  Do you know how much fun scarves can be?  With just one scarf, you can dress up a plain t-shirt. Or, use different scarves with the same shirt and you get a totally different look!  Or sometimes...well, you get the idea. :)  

Needless to say, I now have a pile of scarves in my closet...several from Israel that my dad brought back for me, a solid green one from India that my dear friend Claudia, the previously-mentioned one from Afghanistan has been joined by another one from the same aunt,  as well as a bright cheapy Family Dollar scarf...and the list could go on.  

Soo, I've recently noticed the popular use of infinity scarves this winter.  They're fun and have a different look to them.  But,  I hate to spend money if I don't actually need the item I want to buy (just ask Isaac...or my family.  They'll tell you how often I talk myself out of buying something!) So, as fun as infinity scarves look, I still haven't talked myself into getting any. 

Well, I ran across this genius idea on Pintrest for turning a regular, long, narrow scarf into an infinity scarf!  I've tried it and it works! (And actually, it can be done with a large square one as well, you just have to loop it around a little differently!)  

Here's the idea: 

"I have a ton of pashmina scarves that I love for their pattern or color, but I prefer infinity scarves when it comes to the actual style. I figured out a solution last year and now do this all the time. 

If you have a long rectangular scarf, just tie the two ends together by the corners, and put it on like a circle scarf. If you wanted to, you could just sew it together at the ends, but this is super quick and you can take it apart at the end of the day. " 

Ta-dah!  I knew I didn't have to go out and buy an infinity scarf!  

So you see, Pinterest does have some good ideas...they can save you money...and they can be incredibly fun as well...especially when you get to do it yourself and you get to save money at the same time! :)  

Still Learning

Why does it seem like almost every lesson God brings into my life involves trusting Him?   I have been thinking about that question and here are a few conclusions I have came to (not necessarily in the order of importance and not necessarily with chapter and verse to back them up) regarding why God continues to place "Learn to Trust" on my daily list of spiritual homework. 

1.  Learning to trust the Lord demands a continual dependence on Him.  If I were to master trusting in the Lord, where would that place humility and dependence on the all-sufficiency of the Lord in the life of the believer?

2.  The continual need to trust in the Lord results in a constant reminder of who I am in comparison to Who God is:  God is the One who remains the same.  He is the One Who is faithful to His never-changing Word.  He is the One Who has promised and will fulfill His promises.  In contrast, however, I am the one who constantly doubts.  I am the one who is fickle in my relationship with Him.  I am the one who may say one things one minute, and then do something totally contrary to what I just said the next minute.  God is the One Who is never-changing.  I can trust Him. 

3.  Learning to trust the Lord is not something unique to my life:  Trusting is a part of my spiritual walk with the Lord.  All throughout the Bible, we find account after account of individuals who struggled with understanding and following God's plan...and God had to remind them of Who He is-- that they could trust Him.  Way back in Genesis, Abraham and Sarah, both mentioned in the famous chapter of faith, had to learn to trust the Lord.  The wandering Israelites, and then the conquering Israelites, produced countless incidences in areas where they trusted (or failed to trust) the Lord. The Apostle Paul gives testimony of when he really did not understand why God would allow the "thorn in his flesh", but even in not fully understanding, Paul  had the deep-seated trust and confidence in God's grace and strength: He could continue to trust the Lord. 

No, I don't think I will ever hand in my final exam for the course "Trusting God 101." But...as each test comes and goes, it is wonderful to be able to testify of God's incredible faithfulness and then to grow in a confidence that not only could I trust Him in the past, but I can continue to trust Him in the future! 

To think about...

Question # 1: Why is it that, more often than not, the way we act and the things we do are determined by the people we are with and place we find ourselves at the moment?

Question # 2: What determines ministry?

I've been doing supplemental reading for one of my classes. We could choose what area of doctrine to do it on, so, since I don't know much about Eschatology, I decided to go with that subject. Wow, it has been amazing! I'm going through the book Maranatha: Our Lord Comes! by Raynold Showers. There is a whole chapter on the immanency of Christ's return and I have been more and more convicted of the reality of it. If I really believe that His return could be at any moment, my life will reflect that! At the end of the chapter is a quote, and I would like to share with you:

"Christians are to live 'like men who are awaiting their Master...; and their conduct and character are determined by that expectation.' " ~ F. W. Beare in A Commentary on the Epistle to the Philippians.