Becoming a Reality (in three weeks)

The days are beginning to come to a close; my time with my family is almost gone. There are precisely three weeks left until my parents, Melissa, and Jared board the airline at Kansas City Internation airport on June 9th, leaving Patrice and I here--HELP! As you can imagine, my emotions are commencing to make a very real appearance!

For the past ten days or so, I stayed with the Franklin family, whom I will be staying with after my parents leave. Because I just started a job, I really couldn't go along with the rest of my family when they went up to Montana to visit relatives and two of our supporting churches. It was during this time of separation that the reality of this pending "nightmare" began to sink in: it really is going to happen--I really will be living apart from my parents in the very-near future!

While at times the thought of going off to college sounds exciting, thrilling, and full of adventure, the accompanying implications of living here in the US, separated from everyone and everything that is familiar, is enough to dampen my spirits a bit. A few times throughout the last few days, I have felt almost overwhelmed with the realization of the reality of it all. "Can I really do this?" I've often asked myself. Each time, my mental answer has been: "Well, it's still a long time off in the future; you'll handle it when the time comes." Well, now the time is almost upon me, and I'm not sure if I'll be strong and get through it or not!

It was with such thoughts and emotions boiling near the surface of my heart and mind that I arrived at church last Sunday. As several of my past posts have already mentioned, we have been going through a fantastic series in Sunday school that is by Dr. Jim Berg, examining the character of God and confirming time and again that He is more than enough for our every need! By the end of the hour, I sat amazed at the way God works--the lesson was exactly what I needed!

Why do I say that? Well, would you believe that the very subject of the entire Sunday School hour was our emotions--the very thing I had been struggling with for the past few days? Perhaps the most revealing truth was that "my thoughts dictate my emotions!" So basic, yet so real! If I don't think about something, I won't have emotions about it! Conversely, in order to sustain an emotion, I must think about it!

Now, I'm not saying that in order to get through the next few days and weeks I will simply ignore the inevitable. No, the facts will not go away by mentally saying they don't exist. What I am saying, however, is that it was very freeing, to me, to discover that it is possible for me to control my emotions and sadness about this all! I do have the power to choose what I think about and by avoiding the negative thought patterns of "poor me" that have threatened to make their appearance with increasing frequency lately, I will also be avoiding the negative emotions that accompany them! I don't know. . . am I making any sense at all?

Needless to say, even with all that said, please keep me and my family in your prayers. While I know countless missionary kids have gone through this very thing and have survived (!), this is a first for me.

Trusting in Him,
Angie