Second Try...

For those of you who may have tried the link for the new blog and were told it wasn't available, I've fixed the link.  Here's a second try at it:  In the Meantime.

New Blog!

Hi guys!

I'm moving this blog over to In the Meantime!

I've had this original blog for quite some time and it's about time to update it a little (and get rid of some of those posts that I wrote back when I was still in high school!)

Anyway...check out the new blog!  I'll probably close this one down soon...

My DIY Journal Project

Journaling has been a part of my life for quite a while now.  I’ve never been one to sit down and journal every day, but I do enjoy recording encouragement from the Word, music, and books, as well as things in my life that God is using to teach me.

I started my last journal in 2011 and it was only last week that I finally filled all of the pages (so you can tell how often I actually write in it!)  With that one filled, I needed to get a new one…which gave me the idea of making my own!  A friend made one recently and it looked pretty cool, so I looked up DIY Journals online and got a few directions on how to do it.

Here’s the finished product:

And the back of it:

From this angle, you can see a little more of the binding.  It uses a special stitch—called the coptic stitch--to keep it all together.  I found a youtube video on how to do it and it’s pretty straightforward. 

With this stitch, the book lays open flat and is quite sturdy.  It is important to make sure all the stitches are nice and snug.  

To make this, I used pretty common materials.   The only thing I had to buy special was some Mod Podge and hemp cord. 

Here’s what I used:

* Scrapbook paper (for making the outside and inside of  cover)
* 2 pieces of cardboard cut from a random box laying around (also for the cover)
* 33 sheets of normal typing paper (folded in 1/2 and in groups of 3.  I then poked 5 holes in the          crease for the binding)
* Scissors
* Pencil
* Awl (for pre-poking the binding holes)
* Some kind of rubber to poke into when using the awl (I just used an old flip-flop.)
* Craft Glue
* Mod Podge and sponge paintbrush (to give a finished-off look to the cover)
* Hemp Cord and needle (for the binding)

And that’s about all there is to it.  The only thing, really, that requires actual instruction in this project is the binding.  Everything else is up to your preference—the number of pages and kind of paper for the pages, the kind of cover (some websites talked of using leather, for example), and the size.

I’m pretty happy with how mine turned out!

Describe Him: Joy

While I don't think there is a specific declaration in the Bible stating that God is joy, I believe joy is intricately wrapped up in God's character and our relationship with Him: He is the source of any joy.  He is the source of our joy.  In fact, Galatians 5:22 states that part of the fruit of the Spirit (who is God) is producing joy in the believer.

There are several verses that specifically mention the author's desire that the reader would have "full joy": 

John 15, in Christ's incredible teaching about the Vine and the branches and the relationship of the believer abiding in Christ, He says that "these things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."  (John 15:11)  The joy He gives is directly tied to our abiding in Him and obeying His commandments out of love for Him!  He wants us to do these things because it produces joy--full joy!

1 John 1:4 declares that "these things write we unto you that your joy may be full."  "These things" are what was mentioned in the previous 3 verses:

     1. The Word (Christ) has been revealed,

     2. Eternal life has been manifested,

     3. We can have fellowship with the Father and Jesus Christ!

Once again, the essence of our joy is tied up in our relationship with Christ, and in this case, the very Gospel of Christ!  Without Christ, there can be no true joy.  

In 1 Peter 1:8,  we see another aspect of the reality of joy in the believer's life.  1 Peter 1 is set in context of facing trials and persecution.  In other words, Peter was writing to an audience going through suffering that, for all reasons, should be producing anything but joy.   Yet Peter encourages the believers with facts about their salvation and gives hope to endure their immediate circumstances:

     1. Verse 3 reminds them of the confident hope of the resurrection--there is life beyond right here and now!

     2. Verse 4 promises an "inheritance incorruptible...reserved in heaven for you."

     3. Verse 5 states the security of their salvation.

This all sets the stage for why they should have reason to have hope and perseverance in the trials that "for a season" they were in.

Peter reminds his audience that the testing of their faith produces good things and that their faith is not based in something futile:   Because of their love for Christ and their belief in Him--despite the fact that they could not see Him--they could have joy unspeakable (verse 8.)  Christ produces joy in the believer's heart, no matter what the believer's circumstances may be.

For today's believer, these things are still true: life around us might be difficult, but true joy only comes from abiding in Christ and allowing Him to produce that joy in us!  

 

Describe Him: Immutable

Imagine a God who changes: At one point, He may have shown love to mankind. But not necessarily anymore.  Perhaps He decided to go back on His declaration of love for the world.  He made the promise of a coming Savior and eventually, a ruling King.  But maybe He conceived of a better plan for sin’s problem.  Maybe that solution would be to demolish all of humanity and start over with a perfect race, sparing His only Son from receiving the punishment for the sins of the whole world.  I mean, maybe He’s changed His mind on providing a means of salvation for us.  If God  changes from time to time, His Word is utterly irrelevant to us, for it was written years ago, and anything it tells us about God is probably already out of date.

 

Thankfully though, God is immutable: God doesn’t change.  He has declared Himself to be “the same yesterday, and today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8.) He is the God “that cannot lie” (Titus 1:2.)
Because God does not, and CANNOT, change, when He says He will do something, He will do it.  When He declares something to be true, it always will be true.  When He makes a promise, He keeps His promise.  His actions perfectly and consistently reflect His character, every single time. And His character will never change. 
So when we read that He loves the world, He loves the world, no doubts about it.  He has said that all you must do to be saved is to believe.  That hasn’t changed since it was first written centuries ago.  He has promised that Christ will return for His Bride.  And we are anxiously awaiting His return even now. 

Because God does not change.   

When God Gives and Takes {Part 2}

Here is part two of When God Gives and Takes.  (Read part one here.)

*************

I think of that passage in Corinthians about God being the God of comfort and His comfort then being the avenue for us to then comfort others.  In the days soon after our miscarriage, I clung to this statement of incredible truth about God.  He said He would comfort.  I can trust Him to do it here. Now. In the days to come.  In some way, in some very real, tangible way, He will give comfort to my aching soul in this time of need. 

And He did comfort and continues to comfort.   Day by day, moment by moment, at each moment of great need, His comfort has come in many ways…His Word, prayer, my husband, friends and family, songs…the list could go on. 

Being comforted with God’s comfort doesn’t mean the pain goes away or that tears instantly dry up.  It doesn’t mean all questions have been answered.   But in some strange way, pain and ensuing comfort does help us to avert our eyes from the here and now and see a God who cares, who sees our sorrow, and who is greater than our circumstances, working to make us as refined gold being shaped into His glorious image.  The reality of God’s comfort helps us to say as Job said, even while in the midst of sorrow: “blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21) and behold our God and worship Him.   

Pain reminds us that earth and life is merely our temporary home and makes us long even more for the day when creation’s groanings because of the effects of sin  will come to an end.   So we look forward to that unseen, yet promised, hope.  One day we will be glorified and will be with Him, the One who gave His life for us because He loved us back when we were His enemies.  We will see Him and will be like Him.  Oh that will be glory!  This temporary suffering in life is not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed.  The hope gives us perseverance in this life. (Romans 8:18-25)

 Pain makes God’s love all the more real, because no matter how great the suffering is, God‘s love is greater.  (Romans 8:35-39)

 Pain makes us vulnerable and reveals how helpless we are in doing anything about our pain…unless we entrust it to a God who can do something about it.  And when He does, He gets the glory.

Pain rattles our cage and wakes us up to the reality of life.  Comfort then steps in to show us that there are others out there who are hurting even more than we are.  God’s comfort and grace help motivate us to do something to also comfort those who are hurting, especially those of the Body of Christ.   Many times, God’s comfort comes in the form of those around us extending words and deeds of encouragement.  Many times, He wants to use us to be His hands and feet to bring comfort to others. 

Even as I write all this, the tears come again and again and never seem to have an end.  I don’t really understand why God gave us our precious little ones for only a few short weeks.  But I know He is good, and every good and perfect gift comes from above.  He only does what is best for His children.  Can I trust Him with my burden of sorrow and find joy in Him?  By His grace, I can, one minute at a time, and continue to bless His name. 

When God Gives and Takes {Part 1}

 When it comes to the difficulties and struggles in life, I’m not necessarily one to wear my heart on my sleeve or spill all my guts for the world to read, but this post is the first of two posts talking about our pregnancy, miscarriage, and how God is bringing us--me--through it.  In a way, there’s been healing in writing it down, so maybe I’m writing more for my sake than for any of you readers.  In it all, blessed be the name of the Lord. 

****************
It’s been over 3 months now.  Sometimes I think I’m over the grief, tears, and emptiness… and then all the emotions come rushing back, as if it all just happened yesterday….

Our two little ones:  precious gifts from God for just a few weeks.   They were so tiny and under-developed, yet created in His image and beloved, fearfully and wonderfully made.  Who would have thought that someone so small--someone we never  even got to meet--would claim our hearts and love so fast?  Who would have imagined that their short-lived lives in the womb would leave such a lasting impact on our lives? 

At first we thought we were only having one baby.  Oh we joked about the possibility of two.  After  all, twins do run in my family, so it was a possibility.  But it’d never happen.  I mean, what are the chances? 

And then the ultrasound technician grew quiet in concentration as he examined the computer screen during our first ultrasound.  We stared at the screen ourselves, trying to make sense of the weird shapes and contours.   We came up with our own ideas of what the pictures meant.

Finally, the technician broke the silence.  “It looks like two!”  Isaac and I just looked at each other in amazement and could hardly believe our ears!  Really?!?  I was almost jittery from excitement.

My mind was whirling:  Twins.  Who would have thought?  In nine months, our family would go from just the two of us to four, with doubles of everything: 2 names to pick out,  maybe they would be 2 boys, or 2 girls, or maybe even a girl and a boy, 2 car seats, 2 times the diapers and laundry, 2 babies to love and hug and train to love the Lord…the list could go on.  The thought of having two instead of just one put a whole new and exciting twist on the idea of having a baby!

But the technician couldn’t confirm a due date because there were no heartbeats yet.  “They’re too small--they’re showing to be only about 5 to 5 ½ weeks.  Their hearts haven’t started yet.  Come back when they’re a solid 8 weeks so we can confirm with heartbeats.” 

“Only 5 weeks?”  my mind couldn’t quite make sense of those words.  I was almost positive that I was already a good 7 weeks along.  Why only 5 weeks?  I tried to dismiss the uneasy feeling.

For the next 2 ½ weeks, our hearts were mostly filled with joy and excitement.  We told our parents and siblings and had fun breaking the news that not only were we expecting, but we were having two!   We ourselves were still getting used to the idea of two…Oh the joy!  Who would have thought we’d have twins?  We tried to imagine what life would be like and how we’d fit two babies into our little house (that has only one bedroom--our room.)  I read a pregnancy book and looked up maternity, baby, and twin stuff on Pinterest…just for fun.  And all the while, we tried  to push into the furthest corner of our hearts and minds the fear that there just possibly might be something wrong. 

No, it won’t happen to us.

Yet in feeble trust (and increasing fear), we prayed and pleaded with God to do His will with our precious little ones, knowing He is the God who knows all and is in control of all things, even before they happen.  We know You are the One who gave them to us in the first place, so who are we to say that You can’t take them away from us?  We sure would be humbled and thankful, though, if You would give us a smooth pregnancy and healthy babies.  We reminded ourselves of His goodness, His love, and His sovereignty in all things.  We clung to the promises in His Word.  We committed our little ones to Him.  There was nothing else we could do.

The only thing we could do for them was also the greatest thing:  pray and trust God to do His perfect will.  It was all we had. 

3 weeks later, we were once again in the ultrasound technician’s office, bracing ourselves to hear either the most incredible news or the most devastating:  Either we’d hear some heartbeats signaling everything was normal, or they were gone. 

I knew deep down in my heart what the outcome would be…and the ultrasound confirmed it:  There had been no more development since our last ultrasound 2 ½ weeks earlier.  We’d lost our babies.   Our babies were dead. 

While waiting those few weeks  to confirm heartbeats with a second ultrasound, I couldn’t wrap my mind around how in the world I’d even begin to deal with losing our babies if something went wrong.   The thought alone of the possibility of loss was almost more than I could handle.   I didn’t even know how I’d respond to God, even though I wanted to say I was steadfast in my trust in the Lord and could tell you that I knew God only does what is good.

And now it had happened, whether I was prepared for it or not. I thought it wouldn’t happen to us.  But it did. 

Can I be honest?  The last 3 months have been the roughest, hardest, most achingly emotionally painful experience in my life.  Our little ones and everything we’d been dreaming about that was wrapped up in the new life that was developing had been snatched away from us, never to have them back again.  It is such a raw, vulnerable and un-explainable pain, filled with doubts, questions, and fears.   I look around me and life just seems so unfair.  Why us?  Why now?  Why our babies?  Why, Lord???

And even though I’m a Christian,  how do I deal with the pain of such loss?!?  The spiritual realities of God’s Word just seem so abstract compared to the very real pain in my heart right now.  How does this work??